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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

My bar doesn't have a tap, but does have a big, scary drawing of Dorothy Fuldheim in the restaurant. What does all that mean?

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Monday, July 28, 2008

Hey, John, 

Pick this geek, not Carly for V.P. I mean, Charlie could really french the liberals' minds, tiny and underpowered though they be.

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New Hope for Fat Slobs 


Captain Epilog has been bus-ted, by the Federal Gummit. I'd pay taxes for that. Oh yeah!

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Sunday, July 27, 2008

Too Bad They Didn't Survive 


To do a Project Management issue.


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I'd probably have a hard time selling the house and moving to a condo after my daughter goes off to college. Too many memories here, including those greeting boys she's met. Like this guy.

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Saturday, July 26, 2008

Saturday Afternoon 

Wasting away, waiting for the first victim of OSU football. More weedwhacking soon. Not quite this mellow yet, but helps get in the mood. Pretty soon the site of the NoName Divebar where yurztruly used to hang and listen to stuff like this will be totally flattened, gone to the winds of progress. Meanwhile, enjoy.

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Friday, July 25, 2008

I am 26% White Trash.
Not Too White Trashy
The white trash in my blood will not keep me from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep me from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense.
Take the
White Trash Test
@ FualiDotCom

Well, this explains the haircut.


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I'm not doing any of this during the weekend, but do like the music anyway.

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Spent time this evening trimming my bushes. It's getting around time to totally yank the shrubbery and reduce the yard to a deserted wasteland, just as I've always wanted. Actually, said shrubbery is getting too thick to look good, and too tall too. So time to call in a backhoe (not a ho on her back. Maybe later) and git 'er done.

This is what I ought to be doing tonight. Watching cartoons.

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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Lead, Follow or 

Get out of the friggin' way. OK, Johnny, play the Jeopardy theme music. Well, Mr. Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc, what'll it be? By the time one of our DBAs has identified the problem and sent off the note to the others to do his work, he could have fixed it.

I'm serious. If all you can do is sit on the porch and whittle and bitch about how great you used to be and how the new features can never work, even after a fucking successful install, do it on your own time.

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Monday, July 21, 2008

Does He Still Have It? 

Yes, He Do! A functioning fucntion and a stored procedure in less than 1 hour in the new technology! Cappy, formely King of Kode still got it!

Mad progrmming skizzles. That'll attract the babes. At least it will keep Cappy working.

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Sunday, July 20, 2008



Last night at the Martini place no Indians game, so Starman was playing on the tube. Missed that one, with Karen Allen. Didn't miss much, except for Karen, whom I like. She's held up well, too. Accomplished the Waffle House today. Major reason for bringing it up here: supply Cappy with a steady stream of hash browns. They are still available locally, but are a rapidly vanishing commodity. Now I'm immobilized for the rest of the day. Good move putting it in Eastlake. A lot more convenient than way out on the West Side. Just down the street from my favorite minor league team. You guessed it. The Lake County Captains. Also not far from the site of the big GE Lighting Order Entry Reorg rewrite of 1984, in which I played a prominent, and shikker role. I may have fallen up the stairs, and may have had to shave my tongue the next day, but damn, I could still fix the friggin' code! Also in business across from CaptainSQL Stadium, Beanie's, our local bar of choice at the time. For hanging out after Neutron Jack completely raped the department.

On the way home I saw an open house for a condo. This was the first one I've seen that could actually house the Fortress of Database Excellence. One day, soon, my daughter will be in college, relieving me of the need to hold down the fort in this school district. Home improvements here are in two categories; those needing professional help, and those that get mightily interrupted until I need professional help. So this was a good idea to visit said condo. It would be about an even trade for my house in terms of cost and living space.

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Middle of the Road SuxZass. 


Back to online babemagneting for me.
New features in our database going into production phase 2 and final this week. Watch for the fabric of the universe to be torn asunder. Either way. My role in this install is to be the sensible voice of reason in bringing forth valuable new features available to my company, which we have already paid for. And making sure we have tested their ass off. But yet, there are those that refuse all test results, and even the format of said test results. It pains me greatly because I have the greatest respect for this guy. But once it's thoroughly tested, both in terms of query and utility performance, it's time to go with it. Those standing in front of that speeding locomotive tend to get flattened. If said locomotive is full of shit, then standing in front of it is a noble, futile gesture. If said locomotive is full of valid and important test results, we have no excuse for standing in front of it. But doing so will provide plenty of excuses for going to another technology.
So far query performance is not impacted. As forecast. So let's bag the Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc arguments.
Nor do I condone blathermouthing new features as the greatest thing since sex (with me) prior to testing. And don't ride your hog through the Operations Center.
Being the voice of reason sucks.

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Saturday, July 19, 2008

It's Getting Closer 

The Waffle House is. Don't need to travel 1/4 the way to Columbus any more. Apparently a new location on Your Cheatin' Heard Blvd. in Wastelake, conveniently across the county line. Possibly close enough to head out tomorrow AM for breakfast, after late night ramblings today. Well, as late as it gets.

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Number crunching on the weekend as we nose down to cases for the daughter's incipient early college (and financial aid) application this fall. A few surprises. Looks like Indiana's good for more than storing corn these days. This may release Cappy to continue in my path of chosen Database excellence into the future, despite what sooth the soothsayers say. Pretty murky, huh? Let me put it to you this way: Them's that are in the know about the demise of technologies they don't like and can't understand have sometimes overestimated the demise of said technologies. But, may have to be careful here, afore I dips my wick in (former) company ink.

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Friday, July 18, 2008

The weak end at last. Started early last night with a heavy dose of beer. Here's why the 50's were better:


Since we are at midpoint in the summer, here's some oldy, moldies from the past too. Not as good as beer, tho.


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Thursday, July 17, 2008

Not much going on now. Damn hot and sticky. I'll try to spiff up the blog this weekend, as well as dab some paint and cut some hedges. Not real exciting.

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Sunday, July 13, 2008

Yep, now with the perspective of the weekend and discovery of new and better Dads-Rights blogs, posting what happened due to Judge Christine McMonagle is the best way to go. At some point, someone, on some case will Google her and I'll be glad to provide details. That is a much as a State Supreme Court complaint could ever hope to do. That's about the best anyone could do. My attorney at the time is retired. The private school to which McMonagle remanded my daughter hired then fired my ex-wife, and cheated my daughter at various points so my kid sees clearly what this so-called wonderfull benefactor of the children has brought. Too bad the encounter with the gal last week brought all this to the surface but I don't think I'll be seeing much of her kind. I can smell a liberal at 20 paces, and don't like the smell.

Finished Against The Day finally. What a long haul! Back to Larry McMurtry and something that can be read in this lifetime. For some reason I've always been attracted to the wide open spaces, at least reading about them. Northern Canada, Kerguelen Island, etc. Took a blue highway trip across Ohio and that state up north in my younger days. Never lived in those places. It's never been practical to live there. What would I do there? I did have a good job interview in Gallion nearly 25 years ago but I'm sure that company is long gone.

On call has been going well. A quiet weekend. It's been pretty easy, this time around.

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Saturday, July 12, 2008

Harvey's Barbeque is in business now, back from the soon-to-be-dozed Cedar Center. I've ingested enough beef ribs to help recover from the indignities of yesterday. Later, the results will be floating in Lake Erie.

Urrp!

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A big Capn'SQL Tip O'the Hat to Eric for his excellent Sinatrapost last night. That went down as smooth as a Vodka Martini after a week of on-call topped off by disappointments in one's personal life. For some reason I have an urge to chow down at the Waffle House. But the nearest one is miles away in BrunsTucky. That can be a next week project.

The latest babeencounter brought up a few unhappy unresolved issues from the past. She's still going through drama with her ex, which didn't help matters much. Also, she's embarking on a Social Work career, always a bad sign. For my money, you may as well watch Orpah or Dr. Pill. It's cheaper than that kind of crap and at least thes TVGabbers aren't parking their stupid opinions and agendae in court.

One of the biggest buired issuettes is why did I, CaptainSQL, and I damn near alone of the many divorce cases in Cuyahoga County get stuck with the freight for private school, under court order. And what do I want to do about it? Way back in the dayz of yore (as in yore mama) early in the hearing the ex demanded private school. Judge Christine McMonagle chipped in to the lawyers a recommendation for a particular private school. $56,000 of my money was sent to said private school. These guys revelled in their criminal practice of denying and delaying information about my own daughter to me. This is in violation of the divorce agreement and federal law.

Is the connection between Judge McMonagle and the school corrupt? Illegal? Only a Grand Jury or State Supreme Court investigation can provide the answer. Such a request is likely to be batted aside. This still bothers me after all this time. Not every day, but it is a sore spot. I get along OK with the ex now. Going through the procedure to get an investigation underway appears to be quixotic. When things are going well here, there are better things for me to do. When they are not going so well it seems creepy and quixotic. But that's how we lose our rights, through the steady drip-drip-drip of judicial fiat.

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Friday, July 11, 2008

I am Become 

Bill Dautrieve. The week has been OK until this afternoon. Got my ass kicked twice in about an hour. I need a Martini, even more but still on call this weekend. This may help a little, but it should be Sunday afternoon before I'm in this mood.

This has to be the ultimate Calculus song.

Anyway, back to the ass kicking. Mine. Heard from the gal I saw last weekend, the one from the past. Ah, yes. The mysterious past. Heard something I haven't for nigh on to 35 years. She wants to be friends. OK. Wasn't that a TV show that got cancelled? Then right after that an optional user tablepace reorg blowed up good. Good thing it wasn't necessary, but still.

Basically, folks, my technology is going to heck. India is sending crappier DBAs as their job market is hot-hot-hot. I mean, if I was them, I'd cut the best deal I could too. It's the American Way, and I'm an eager practitioner of it myself. But our boyz aren't stepping up to the plate. Used to be we'd test the living shit out of any change before it went in. The new para-dime is to sit around the front porch whittling and whining about how great we used to be. Of course we were. Because in those days, we actually did the job!

Bah.

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Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Time to slip in one more before going on call:

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Sunday, July 06, 2008

Oh, Ja, Das is Alt! 

OK, Fritz, or whoever is dubbing this clip. I had nothing to do with the removal of that user account! Honest!


This is a great pre-on-call movie. Y'see, that's why all us techies get the hotties, like Ally Sheedy (was). Then some damn little glitch, like a false nuclear attack warning comes up and we have to save the goddam world again. Happened again last night too. Shit. Stupid Defcon 3. Enough of this and you turn into Dabney Coleman. Gotta go now. General Powers is on the line. Fasten the lids on tight an use the subs.

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Saturday, July 05, 2008

Hokay. I've found uses for hippies:
  1. Keep 'em off the payrolls. If employed, they could cause damage anywhere from irritating people trying to do real work to wrecking an entire product line.
  2. Stuff 'em in gummit. If it ever, God forbid, came down to cases, who would you rather face, HippieJoe or some guy that's actually handled firearms, such as WesClark or Art McKoy?

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Friday, July 04, 2008

It worked 


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Well, we USED to be part of Conn. 




You Are 24% NYC



Okay, so maybe you've been to NYC. But you probably really live in Connecticut.

How NYC Are You?

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A Hillicsious 4th 

Chili is festering away in the crock pot, and FX is gracing the 4th with a KOTH marathon. This AM the early ones, classics all. Ingesting steroids for my back, which was in serious hurt all week. There goes any fix-up activity this weekend!

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Thursday, July 03, 2008

Happy 4th of July 


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Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Hot Dog! Football On the Way! 

Yea! The Big10 Notwork came through snatching the crucial Troy State and YSU Penguin games away from Buckeye Nation fans, depriving us of two of the hottest contests in pre-conference play early in the season. Don't know how I can survive this. Guess I'll have to settle for the locally televised Portsmouth State College of Optometry vs. East McKeesport Institute for the Criminally Insane kickoff in late August.

And how's 'bout that great OSU dealmaking for exciting future pre-conference play! They nailed down two, count 'em two consecutive years of playing Navy in the mid-teens. Hope I'm too senile to focus in on those games by then. Sounds to me like some Taft Adminstration holdovers in the Horsehoe at work.

I'll be in Chitown for a Cubs themed Bar Mitzvah on October 4th. Fortunately the reception will be at a Dave and Busters like place, with big screen coverage of the Illini game against MeatChicken. Finally something to really cheer for! Hopefully it will really piss off the moobat brigade coming in from Ann's Harbor.

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Tuesday, July 01, 2008

The ex and I shipped the offspring to Israel today. Hope she has a safe and pleasant trip. She's pretty jazzed about it. And no major hoohah with the ex happened either. Those drugs must really be doing their job!

Getting harder to come back after missing sleep these days. Lotsa opinions from the other guys on my bigtime project. Only mine is the way to go. Nothing new about that.

Send in those recipies!

Sad to say that Cuyahoga County has come up short once again. We're not even in the same league as Chicago regarding taxes. So c'mon all you DiMoras, Russos, Corrigans and McMonagles! Graft graft graft! Go team! Surely we can do with some other bullshit project. Maybe another Useless Avenue corridor, whisking absolutely nobody from nowhere to noplace in lightning speed. You hippies have to kick in too. You say Cleveland Heights is a Nuke Free zone. How do you know? Surely you can load up the payroll with unemployed corrupt IAEA inspectors to go house to house during the graveyard shift! You judges, start dismissing charges against gang-bangers during the arraignment. We can speed up the mean-time-to-release of dangerous criminals. No more piking, liberals. I wanna see some big-league waste of money and taxes to rival Chicago. You know you want it!

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