Sunday, February 01, 2009


The Red Forman motivational poster will be enough to stifle libtard relatives. I did pick up a proposal to bifurcate the USA on another blog. I don't want to do that. I am against messing up the greatest land on earth. Also against bifurcation, although you have to admit it is a cool word to say and impresses. But some kind of arrangement would relieve me of the need to come up with feeble excuses to avoid liberals.

"Here is a model dissolution agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell (you are however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move them). We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's, and rednecks. Especially those hockey moms.

We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood. We'll also offload Ann Arbor and Cleveland Heights.

You can make nice with Iran, Palestine , and France and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protestors. Take the goddam slackers on the FreeCreditReport.com commercial too.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian Values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. Have all the SixSigma you want. You can have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

Take James Earl Carter III with you and don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

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