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Saturday, February 28, 2009

What in the Wide Wide 

World of Sports?

35 year ago:

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Velociworld now successfully added to the list of links on the right. Nestled securely between the lovely Technicalities and the omnivorous Worse than Failure, this link has been produdly manufactured, tested, and shipped in the USA by the crack team of CaptainSQL blogging testers, living up to our standards for HTML and DML quality and ISO 9000.

Cannot locate a video of the ZZ Top sendup on St. Elsewhere episode Sweet Dreams. That was one of the great ERP project music videos of all time. Ever notice any similarity between Dr. Fiscus of St. E and Dr. Dorian of Scrubs? Except Dr. Fiscus is less neurotic. But who isn't?

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Friday, February 27, 2009

About done with River Horse, by the William Least Heat-Moon, he of Blue Highways. Liked the latter better. The riverine journeylog got too loggy around North Dakota, repetitive type of adventures. Also too much screeding for my taste, but these days in lit, what isn't screedfilled and rantfull. Work continues to become more aimless. Elavulations next week, this from a caretaker manager just waiting for the tide to roll out. Consultants getting the heaveho left and right. One very good DBA today. Yesterday was my post-on-call martini, joined at the bar with a Dragon Lady Project Managerette with whom I worked about 12 years ago. She rolled out of her assignment last week too.

Big honors week for the SQLDaughter. The Principal wanted her to be introduced to the Gov. Shabbos takes precedence. We can catch Buck Strickland anytime on KOTH reruns.

Anyone else find this disturbing?





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Thursday, February 26, 2009

I'll tell ya what's not a stupid fucking piece of shit that doesn't work. My late 90's Japanese car isn't. It works great after more than 100K miles. Want proof? Late 70's Olds Omega, named because after buying one of those babies it's the last GM product you're ever gonna own. Rotten plastic sun gear gave out practically after driving it off the lot. You can't make this shit up. And Detroit can't make up the customer loss. Yep, all the baleout $$$$ (my tax dollars) can't built those assholes new customers. As we go into the future of deep job doubt, I'll be sticking with what works. And it ain't GM.

Took the mighty CaptainSQL axe to some low lying shrubs today in the back yard. Deforestation of the Fortress of Database Excellence continues.

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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Major DBMS Vendor Announces 

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Tuesday, February 24, 2009


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Very busy week. Sunday night on-call was a marathon barfing all over Monday, as I deploy to preserve order by preventing our Indian subalterns from shooting each other in the foot to prove they are hot shots. Big honors award tonight for the SQL Daughter, with me playing the role of dressing up nice and smiling. Busy ass week.

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Saturday, February 21, 2009

I may have to start watching this guy.


I hope I don't end up in the same cabin with him when the reedjimification starts. Then I won't be top smartass at camp. Does anyone know if he's good at arts and crafts?

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Friday, February 20, 2009

On call this weekend too, simultaneous to trying to have a good time. Quite a babe magnetude challenge. It's a double challenge: restarting failed jobs while looking cool. What would Boomhauer do?

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Thursday, February 19, 2009

Bitter Clingers and Racist Cowards 


Never before in the history of The United States of America has there been a greater need for Venn Diagrams!

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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Change I Can Believe In 

Obama wants our banks to offer Swedish Models.

Hot Damn!

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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

12:30 AM install tonight. Holding up OK, will sleep in tomorrow.

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Monday, February 16, 2009

Thanks to all the respondents for the kind words on my kid's college acceptance, et. al. Pretty impressive KOTH yesterday with Hank bitching out Buck Strickland. Never thought I'd see the day. This week Cappy is on call, starting tomorrow so it's beer night tonight.

Officer Muldoon, Officer Toody, close out this post!

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Saturday, February 14, 2009

35 Years 

Since this classic:



Also, great news! My kid got accepted at Yeshiva U. So I'll be infesting New Jersey blogmeets in the future. Probably.

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Friday, February 13, 2009

Frinite Ripoff 

Pretty decent, steady work week in the land of the uncertain. President Hussein throwing more turds at the wall than this or any other combination of bloggers can comment on. Make sure to lawyer up, and more! Building my backlog playlist on modern, jet age technology. Tonight's riplist: Creedence Clearwater Revival, Bruce Hornsby and the Range for that good old 80's Kumbiyah, and The Eagles, whose concert I'll be attending at the Q next month at great cost. Tomorrow, Valentines Day. Happy VD to all!

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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Our CIO got the heave-ho recently. He was an OK guy. But now that he's gone with his deep-dish New England accent and puckish sense of humor I can finally enjoy Family Guy the night before meetings he hosted.

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Monday, February 09, 2009

I Cannot Find 

A jpeg or video of Lucky Kleinschmidt for love or money, but y'day's KOTH was another high point. President Hussein is yammering on in the background but don't want to waste my time on him. I get enough BS at work daily.

Anyways, speaking of his chief rival for Worst President Ever, has anyone noticed the amazing resemblance between Lucky and James Earl Carter the Turd?

And per yesterdays KOTH, there's even more resemblance: Lucky's devotion to What Would a Monkey Do? and Carter's devotion to carrying out those policies.

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Sunday, February 08, 2009

Book 'Em, Danno 

I just felt like saying that.

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Saturday, February 07, 2009

Nice way to start the weekend. We went to Whole Foods Frinite wine/beer/appetizer party and ended up at Eat at Joes for breakfast (filling in for lunch, too) this morning. Saw Leatherheads in between. Not a bad movie, not a classic either. No We Are Marshall or Hoosiers. My daughter continues to kick ass big time academically at school. She won a national award for system design and they'll be presenting it at an assembly this month. Since she will probably graduate High School in August this could be a great substitutue for graduation. It's worth it if she can do Y.U. a year early. A much better religious environment if it works out. Also gives me a chance to noodle around NYC once in a while and nudge Tri-State bloggers. Can I say Tri-State? That used to be or still may be the term for Cincinnati. Back in the day.



Tense week at work, with rumors and cancelled meeting flying all over the place Friday. This is going to be an unstable couple of years, I think. After then I'll be of an age when the only thing to do is ride the technology I end up supporting down the chute like Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove.



This years Superbowl. Good game. Too bad The Steelers won.

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Thursday, February 05, 2009

I find humor in this 

Oh, Cappy, you are so immature!

And loving every minute of it!


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Tuesday, February 03, 2009

I'm a Mandarin!

You're an intellectual, and you've worked hard to get where you are now. You're a strong believer in education, and you think many of the world's problems could be solved if people were more informed and more rational. You have no tolerance for sloppy or lazy thinking. Or liberals. It frustrates you when people who are ignorant or dishonest rise to positions of power. That means you, doughnut-boy! You believe that people can make a difference in the world, and you're determined to try.

Talent: 46%
Lifer: 41%
Mandarin: 51%

Take the Talent, Lifer, or Mandarin quiz.


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Monday, February 02, 2009

I don't wanna do it, but have to move up the big blog post about the liberal private school to which the Domestic Relations court remanded my kid. But it's coming. And it largely will be a snoozer. Pretty irrelevant, except for when it shows up on an internet search. If it can help even one parent, it's worth it. Dredges up a lot of bad memories.

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Sunday, February 01, 2009

Saw Paul Blart, Mall Cop last night, then we retired for a repast at Skyline Chili, the best Cincinnati has to offer, my undergrad degree excluded. Never let it be said that Cappy doesn't know how to treat a lady. And as the result, of course here it comes I dropped the Browns off in the Superbowl early. I didn't know that phrase was made popular more like poop-ular by Larry the Cable Guy. That's about as close as the Browns, as we know them are going to get to the Super Bowl.

Before leaving for a baby sitting job today Charming Daughter asked innocently if I liked the Steelers in the Superbowl. I have threatened requested many times to do a family swap with normal people to be rid of my mishpocha's hippies and slackers redundancy alert but due to this question all relatives are now on the block.

And I had the distinct pleasure of completing my preliminary federal taxes this afternoon. Man, this is going to pay for a lot of BS what with President Hussein. It hurts. But at least what I paid last year was administered by a President that favored America over Muslim terrorists. Too bad that's not operative going forward.

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Maybe 

The Red Forman motivational poster will be enough to stifle libtard relatives. I did pick up a proposal to bifurcate the USA on another blog. I don't want to do that. I am against messing up the greatest land on earth. Also against bifurcation, although you have to admit it is a cool word to say and impresses. But some kind of arrangement would relieve me of the need to come up with feeble excuses to avoid liberals.

"Here is a model dissolution agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell (you are however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move them). We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's, and rednecks. Especially those hockey moms.

We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood. We'll also offload Ann Arbor and Cleveland Heights.

You can make nice with Iran, Palestine , and France and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protestors. Take the goddam slackers on the FreeCreditReport.com commercial too.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian Values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. Have all the SixSigma you want. You can have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

Take James Earl Carter III with you and don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.
"

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