Saturday, September 29, 2007

College Football Goes to Hill! 

Hank's gone and done it! His lameass suggestion to Nebraska landed the Cornholers somewhere in the Top 25. Can he even return to Texas? Does it even matter? USC has a permalock on #1, with Florida and LSU contending for runnerup. Then there's a bunch o' SEC and PAC-10 teams somewhere in the mix, with the Big 10 sneaking in on easy ratings. And those new places nobody's ever heard of messing things up. Fear the 'Roo?
It's that college football parody that's messing up the natural order of ratings! And how's bout the dumbass lawyers that brought on The Big 10 Notwork, effectively blocking all the games I give a flying rat's ass about? What about the brilliant NBC/Notre Dame contract? Brilliant, just brilliant.
Yahoo delivering up another (very motley) selection of babes for yours truly. It gets me out of the house, anyway. That virus really had me out to lunch for a couple of weeks. Blogging is low on the CaptainSQL totem pole of to-do tasks.

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Saturday, September 22, 2007

Out of It 

Had a bad virus most of the week, followed by Yom Kippur. That's a pretty good combination if you enjoy disorientation. Also re: Martinis, the new, wonderful O'Reilly's Pub in the fantastic new renovated Cedar Center. Good price, good booze. Nice, neighborhood feel: nice combo of alta kockers, yuppites, and college kids, with families too. And not in the People's Republic either.

Another smashing OSU victory today, too!

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Sunday, September 16, 2007

Cappy's Guide to Booze 

A good Rosh Hashanah and a good weekend with my daughter. She really appears headed in the right direction and there wasn't any huge alienation this weekend. So, I'm looking forward to the Chicago and Hawaii trips this fall.

The online dating scene is starting to look like Jr. High School here. Overally, there's still a lot of chicks online and within striking distance. So, now, what the world has been waiting for,

Cappy rates the Martinis of Cleveland!

The winner: The Mad Greek. Hands down. Elbows up. The Maharajah of Martinis. And last outpost of non-PC atmosphere in (The People's Republic of) Cleveland Heights. I mean, let's face it; without these life saving libations the entire municipality is just a retread of the old CCCP, without cyrillic lettering of stupid films about collective farms, for the most part.

Is next, ZaZa's. Actually, that's soon to be was next. Long the #2 standby, already badly diminished this last summer. Soon to be a memory and a field of rubble along with it's predecessors at the old Cedar Center, as soon as the city nukes the place.

Two to look at: (note executive-style bullet points!)

List O'Losers

BarLouie @ Legacy Village. Weak.

Sushi Rock @ LaPlace. A horse wanders into the place and orders a Vodka Martini. Bartender sez "We don't get many horses in here". Horse sez "At these prices you won't get many more!" Pricey. Rough, not smooth.

OK gang, don't everyone slam into town at once! There's only so much capacity to entertain here in BrownsTown.



Friday, September 14, 2007

Just posting to keep up here, as this weekend starts the real season of glorious Big Ten football. I'm reading "Against the Day", which is a substantial sized book filled with flowery words and Pynchon self-referencing humor. Still grazing thru a slump, babewise. My daughter will be with me most of the weekend and I go back and forth from anger, resignation, outrage, and a more normal attitude about that. She's going to be looking at college admission soon, and her mom's drama won't buy her a damn there. Martinis have helped. So have a lot of really sophomoric movies.

I didn't post about the 9/11 anniversary because so many others have written about it much better. I remember that awful day. And won't forget or forgive. And that goes for those that protect or defend the terrorist murderers, be they oversears or right here in America.

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Saturday, September 08, 2007

Oregon leads Michigan 39 -7 in Third Quarter 

Don't help. I can't stop gloating. Michigan seniors limping off the field with fake injuries to get away from the humiliation.




What is that stench I perceive? It's like Gozilla relieving himself after gorging on overripe elderberry groves, and possibly North Korean industrial waste. I can hardly breathe! Oh, OK, I see. The wind has shifted. It's coming from the Northwest. A gentle breeze has wafted the Overwhelming stench of hideous disgraceful defeat across the pristine waters of Lake Erie, from the destroyed town of Ann Arbor (a Seminole phrase meaning boot-licking losers). Howie takes another one up the snotlocker in the form of a humiliating 32-7 score against the mighty, fearsome Ducks of Oregon, and it's not even half-time yet.

Gloat gloat gloat.

Emergency schedule change for Michigan: Their end of season will play the Southfield Home for the Feeble Minded, Junior Varsity, instead of OSU.

Gloat gloat gloat.



Famous College Football Maven Hugh Suk sez... 

What's the worst car ever to come out of Michigan?



Friday, September 07, 2007

Hey, we paid big bucks to bury 

those friggin' leisure suits! Me and Acidman shelled out a fortune to ditch that 70's polyester! As long as the buried past is bubbling up, enjoy this.



L'Shana Tova 

It's almost that time again, Jewish New Year. So I'm wishing all readers, Hebrewite or not a Happy New Year.

Gotta go now, and help the other bloggers trash Eric's house.


Monday, September 03, 2007

Back to Normal 

As much as possible. The daughter went Whitewater Rafting and Michigan got it's pea-brain head handed to it by Nowhere State U. In the spirit of sportsmanship, all I can say is

Suck it, Howie Carr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back to reality though, here's ripping off another U of M guy. Also this one goes out to SWG, or more likely, his dad:

Also, this is way overdue on my site:

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Sunday, September 02, 2007

(Avoidance of) Labor Day 

My daughter came over Frinite and Saturday and went Whitewater Rafting today. Worked out a semi-schedule for the rest of the year. Sleeping in a lot too this weekend, as I become more of a parrothead each month.

I don't have it as bad as these guys, no thanks to the Shitfuckbastards at Domestic Relations Court. That's right mofo, I mean you hiding behind your fucking robes. This isn't contempt of court. The judges here would need to work double-duty overtme for me to raise the level of respect for them to contempt.

So here it is from other guys.

And here is a salute to the state that encourages and protects my ex-wife in all her attempts to turn my kid against me. Yea, I 'm talkin' to you Oiho. Led by the shitbags in Cuyahoga, lover of criminals and grabber of taxes. You yeah you fatass Jimmy D. So glad we can pay more taxes than anyone else in the state to get more carbohydrates into your pie-hole.

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