Tuesday, February 09, 2010
It's about time
somebody did this:
I can easily imagine Michelle saying "I am the greatest good you are ever going to get!"
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I can easily imagine Michelle saying "I am the greatest good you are ever going to get!"
Labels: Good Movies, Kumbiyah
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Spent the afternoon trying to redeploy at work. Resume writing. Should have stayed awake in English class.
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Labels: dang grammar, techwhining
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Job hunting while at the bar tonight. Can martinis be written off a job hunting expenses?
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Labels: Martinis
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
My daughter sent me this gem.
2 Morals
OLD VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away..
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
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MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the antshould be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.
CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, “We shall overcome.” Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
The President condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.
Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to thegrasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of theant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood..
The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010!!!
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I’ve sent this to you because I believe that you are an ant – not a grasshopper! Make sure that you pass this on to other ants. Don’t bother sending it on to any grasshoppers because they wouldn’t understand it, anyway.
Oh well, ten years of the finest Court Ordered Kumbiyah down the crapper. Along with lots of my cash.
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2 Morals
OLD VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away..
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the antshould be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.
CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, “We shall overcome.” Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
The President condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.
Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to thegrasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of theant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood..
The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’ve sent this to you because I believe that you are an ant – not a grasshopper! Make sure that you pass this on to other ants. Don’t bother sending it on to any grasshoppers because they wouldn’t understand it, anyway.
Oh well, ten years of the finest Court Ordered Kumbiyah down the crapper. Along with lots of my cash.
Labels: Kumbiyah
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Shoulda gone with HeBrew Messiah Bold. Erica knows best. Boy, those hippies hate the interwebs.
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Labels: Beer, Blogging, King of the Hill, Kumbiyah
Dinner at my sisters tonight, with deep-fried blue friends. I mean, this is a smurf blue group. I'm tasked with beer provision. Which of these choices will cause more trouble: Shiner, a good, solid Texas brew, or Hebrew, which will invoke strong oaths of denunciation of religion in general?
If you can't live in a red area, at least be a jerkwad about it, I say!
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If you can't live in a red area, at least be a jerkwad about it, I say!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
With emancipation comes the post emancipation rant about the Cuyahoga County Domestic Relations Court, hereby referred to as Assholes in Black Robes. They set the rules of the game, deciding child custody and parenting rights by whim. My judge at the time of divorce was Christine McMonagle, who has moved on to screw up another bench. On her whim my daughter was sent to The Ratner School. I had my Ratner Rant a while ago. In my opinion, The Ratner School acted criminally, interfering with my parental rights and by continually refusing access to information guaranteed to me under Federal Law.
I didn’t take it back to court because I ran out of money to fight this. If you don’t take it to court continually then under the doctrine of Laches you can’t bring a case later. So it is a perfect world of Parental Alienation, designed, implemented and enforced by the Assholes in Black Robes.
What does it mean to you? This is the MO of the liberal. There will not be and Obama SS. No hobnail boots marching, no reeducation camps, no blue helmets. But when they decide to remake a part of America you hold dear, from owning firearms to enjoying a football game, even dropping in at McDonalds, then a million petty tyrants will regulate and litigate all of this away. And then you too can face your own Assholes in Black Robes, with no legal recourse.
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I didn’t take it back to court because I ran out of money to fight this. If you don’t take it to court continually then under the doctrine of Laches you can’t bring a case later. So it is a perfect world of Parental Alienation, designed, implemented and enforced by the Assholes in Black Robes.
What does it mean to you? This is the MO of the liberal. There will not be and Obama SS. No hobnail boots marching, no reeducation camps, no blue helmets. But when they decide to remake a part of America you hold dear, from owning firearms to enjoying a football game, even dropping in at McDonalds, then a million petty tyrants will regulate and litigate all of this away. And then you too can face your own Assholes in Black Robes, with no legal recourse.
Friday, January 29, 2010
The guys at work have been really first rate. Mostly, I'll miss my users in B.I. They are great to work with, and really sharp. It's been a pleasure, and only hope I can get to work with a group remotely similar in the future.
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Labels: techwhining
Thursday, January 28, 2010
The Hammer
came down today. Big DBA wipeout. Pretty generous severance. New innovation in the last 10 years: don't have to go to Severance Hall to pick up the checks any more.
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Labels: Music, techwhining
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
1000th Post!
Here it is. Got notice of a one-on-one tomorrow afternoon, verily the day of the chopping block. Time to deploy Plan 9. It's from outer space, after all.
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Labels: Bad Movies, Blogging, techwhining
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Ran into the worst person I know at the JCC today, one of the wretched refuse of the recently ended Parenting Agreement. Still holding down a paycheck as of this moment.
No matter what happens at work, no matter the technology, whatever the future brings, The Steelers Suck!
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No matter what happens at work, no matter the technology, whatever the future brings, The Steelers Suck!
Labels: Football, Kumbiyah, techwhining
